Is MOTHER the ONLY OWNER of a CHILD?

I know it's little rude to call yourself the owner of your child. But deep inside that's the feeling each mother has, that thought "It's only me who has the right to decide what is right, what is wrong, what to make her eat, when to make her sleep, how to handle her tantrums, manage her during her breakdowns, everything". But is that really reasonable?


1. A child is not anyone's owenership.
A baby is not a ownership of anyone, not even the parents, we have just physically bought them into this world. We obviously think about our-self as owners as we have given them birth but have we created them? It's God's creation, we are just care takers and should not become decision makers. But for second thought, if not we,then who will decide, as they are too small to decide what they should do? 

2.Be care takers and not decision makers
We should fulfil the basic needs of the baby when they demand, like feed when they hungry, make them sleep when tired,play when they want to and with what they want to,etc. The additional demands of the kids need to be addressed to them by explaining them what's correct for them. Making them learn the difference between what is right and what is wrong is the key, but we make decisions for them rather than letting them decide. I know they can make wrong decisions, but are we sure that our every decision is always going to be right. I know it's not easy and specially for an Indian parent, who are brought up where decisions for us are taken by our parents. But let's act wiser and break this not so good legacy.

3. A mother can also make wrong decision.
I always thought was whatever good that is happening to my kid is because of me and whatever wrong that is happening is because of others and it included even my husband. I felt like the owner of my kid and the sole CORRECT decision maker. I felt no one can handle my kid but only me.I know I was wrong with my thoughts. But at that point I was so engrossed in my baby that making sure everything is just perfect for her had become my only purpose. I had forget that life is never a straight line it has to be up and down. Life is a teacher, it always gives you reality checks and for me it mostly comes from my husband. This time again he made me realise where I was going wrong, and this was something I badly wanted to change in myself. 

4.Accept others decison, when they have something better to offer.
I realised that it was a ego trip which dint let me accept what recommendations others gave for my baby. Somewhere I could not accept the fact that how can someone else know my baby better, know what she needs, what is best for her. And this all came from my in depth feeling of ownership on her. But she didn't belong only to me, but also to her father, her grand parents, her uncle and aunts. 

5.Social pressure screws it all. Care a shit
I was never someone who tried to establish ownership in relations, not even with my husband. Then what had changed after being a mother? It's our society,it always holds a mother responsible for whatever a child does, good or bad. This is what is pressuring mothers to make sure their kid is in the best of her behaviour, come what may. As heard, with power comes responsibility, but here as a baby is considered mothers responsibility, mother unknowingly takes the power to be the owner of the baby. Here's where everything messes up. After realising that it's the society norms which is driving my behavior, I started caring a shit about what people think and started liberating my baby, but I was actually liberating myself from the undue pressure of perfection.

Acceptance of not being the owner of the child is the solution to all problems. Infact I started feeling relaxed thinking if not me someone from the family will do it for her. It made me more calmer and I had more wamth and love to offer not only to her but to myself also.

These are my personal opinions, sorry if someone is hurt. It's just an effort to make mothers realize that they are not the only one responsible for baby's upbringing but the entire family and society affects the personality of a kid.

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