Accepting a Child for who they are

We all love our children, irrespective of how good or bad they are. But do we accept them in complete, or we try to mould their habits or traits to which we can't relate. For example if a child doesn't want to swim, how many of us would accept the child's decision and not force them to learn to swim. Not even 1% of us. Our love doesn't reduces for them, but our acceptance of them as a individual personality surely does reduces.

This blog will focus mainly on :
What is acceptance
Stages of acceptance
Importance of acceptance

What is acceptance?
Acceptance of a child means, accepting all the traits,habits,likes, dislikes in them, irrespective you think they are correct or wrong. Accepting them in complete, with their different personality is important.

Stages of acceptance?
Basically accepting anything which is not liked by us doesn't happen overnight. We go through a 5 stage process to accept anything in life.

To understand the process let's continue with the same example. If a child doesn't want to swim.

1. Denial - Usually all kids love water, but if you kid doesn't like it you will deny it. Whenever asked by anyone about your kid not liking to swim, you will always try to cover up with some excuse about why he isn't swimming.

2. Anger - Tired of covering up from other parents about the fact, and thinking how would they react if they know your kid doesn't like swimming, which is usually loved by other kids of his age your anger starts to pile up.
3. Bargain - You try to find a mid way by pleasing yourself. If I would have exposed him to swimming when he was 6 months he wouldn't have avoided it now.

4. Depression - After having multiple failed attemps to convince your kid to enter the pool,it begins to  create a mental pressure on you to succeed next time. It creates a sense of faliure as a parent. Continuous mental an emotional trauma and unable to get any solution leads to depression.

5. Acceptance - After finding no solution and understanding yours kids trait, you finally accept you child wish of not wanting to swim readily. This is a win win situation for both. As a parent accepting and supporting a child's personality and choice is a biggest sense of comfort for any kid.
Unknowingly for every situation you react in similar way. But the problem arises when you are stuck at previous stages and don't reach the final stage of acceptance.

Importance of Acceptance.
Once you accept any trait of a child, you will see following changes in the way you approach the situation
- You will stop forcing the child to do something that he or she doesn't like to
-  You will find out the reason, why your child is behaving in a certain manner
-  You will try and find a solution to get things done not forcefully but with your child's consent.

The overall process will turn out to be more peaceful and you will just not know your child's personality but also the reason behind it and accept it happily.

Every child has different personality, trying to change them to make them similar or competitive to someone else break their morale and stops them from growing the way they actually are. Accepting your child is as important as loving them.

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