I forgot being a wife while becoming a mother and how did I regained it


Motherhood is one of the most embraced period of a women's life. A women's maximum attention is on her baby since the time it's as small as a mustard seed in her womb. This is motherhood, loving the life which is still unseen and unknown. As the days pass the attachment, the bond just grows stronger. 
Once a baby is delivered, the actual motherhood starts and a mother's life just roams arround the little bundle of joy. Feeding, changing nappies, massages, bath times, making the baby sleep and so on, and with hardly any time left she makes sure to make food for the family, clean the house,  dusting, laundry and the list goes on. But in all this, a wife is lost. In the initial months after the baby, one surely doesn't realise this but it surely hits every marriage at some point 

It did hit me also. My daughter was 14 months, till then everything was going good. My husband was a sweetheart to adjust to all my moods and helped me how much ever he could after his office hours. He had never complaint about our relationship or anything.
One day, my daughter just refused to behave in her usual way. She dint want to eat, neither sleep, she was cranky all the time and I was just unable to understand why was she behaving not so her. By the end of the day I just lost it and I was just in tears and angry wid my lil one. My husband was observing everything and consoled me and helped me finally put the baby to bed. He just didn't talk to me. This made me cry more, my mind was illed with negative thought for him but by morning I was fine. I msg him that I am sorry for my behaviour last night and all. He just msg me saying that "Chandani I am done with this ". I was wondering what the hell was this, I am doing so much for our baby and this is what you tell me. He replied, "Where am I in all this? It's just the baby all the time."

I felt super annoyed but it actually made me think over it. And except to accept it I had nothing to say. I realised that he was not wrong. I was just thinking of the baby and screwing up my relationship with my husband. I just cooked for him and made sure to do his laundry and keep the house clean, which he dint even care about. He wanted me by his side, he wanted my time ,my support but I was so mad just taking care of my baby that I forgot I was wife before I became a mother.

Making all the efforts to give best to your baby is not wrong, but in that process forgetting that you are a wife to the father of your child is not apperciable. A child is an addition to the existing relationship of husband and wife. A stressful marriage will never result in healthy parenting. It's really important to balance both the roles of a mother as well as wife.

Talk with your husband, and ensure that he is not feeling left out in your whole process of motherhood.
Step that we took as a couple to balance both the roles

1.Communication
We made sure to talk on daily basis of everything that we did, wanted to do or for that sake any non sense talk also. Obviously anything excluded my daughter's talk. It was a strict No No. It helped us regain the lost bond.

2.We Time
We tried having some WE TIME, with help of my in laws and parents. They took care of our lil one when we had our own relaxed time.

3.Professional Help
Myself being a CA I helped him managing his finances and he being an engineer helped me set up my website. Due to work we ended up spending lots of time together.

4.Lazy Hours
We spent time watching movies, or playing card games or just lying next to each other. The presence of each other was enough to feel the closeness.

After all this, I realised that letting someone else take care of your baby while you spend sometime with your Husband is not wrong and there should be no guilt about the same. This also helps your baby realises the presence and importance of other people as well in your life.


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